Yours
by Shrrgnien
Summary: Almost a month after escaping Macavity, Demeter still wakes up in a panic every night. Her sister can calm her, but she can't make the nightmares end. That role, however, may be filled by a certain silver tabby...if Demeter is willing to let him try.


**[A/N] This is a semi-challenge fic; in other words, it's not an "official" challenge. This is the result of a conversation with the awesome SirPrickles. It stretched my adverb vocabulary to its limits and stole a large amount of what sanity I had. Please note that I don't normally like songfics, and any reviews stating that songfics are stupid will be heartily agreed with. Nonetheless, I think I did all right. To all PotO fans, yes, I realize I changed the lyrics in many places and skipped verses in others. It's intentional and I'm a fan too. Please don't kill me. **

**Yours**

Munkustrap peered around a pile of junk and sighed.

He wasn't surprised to see Demeter huddled on the Great Tire. On the contrary, he would have been surprised to find she was curled up safely in Jenny's den, where the Gumbie cat insisted she stay until she recovered from her imprisonment. Since arriving almost a month ago, the golden queen had yet to sleep through the night.

He frowned; come to think of it, there _was_ something rather odd about the scene. After a few moments it hit him. Bombalurina, normally impossible to tear from her beloved sister's side, was nowhere to be…

"Munkustrap! Thank Bast."

…Ah. There she was.

"Bomba?" he whispered. The red queen stepped out of the shadow of a tire where she'd been hiding, looking distinctly relieved.

"I wanted to come and find you," she explained in low tones. "But I couldn't leave her…"

"What are you doing here?" the silver tabby whispered.

She looked askance at him. "Looking after Demeter, of course!"

"No," Munkustrap said slowly, "I mean…why are you _here?"_ He pointed at the ground beneath their feet, then through the ripped mattress Bomba had been using as a peephole to keep an invisible eye on her sister, then back a few times until Bombalurina's eyes widened in comprehension.

"I wish I could help her, Munkustrap," she breathed sadly. "I've tried. I can calm her down when no one else can, but it doesn't stop her from panicking again the next night. I would give anything to be able to help her, but…" She trailed off, looking at her sister with an expression both pained and incredibly tender.

"But…?" Munkustrap prompted.

Bombalurina turned to him and smiled. "But it's not me she needs tonight."

Munkustrap drew back slightly and fixed his trademark Warning Look on the red queen. The ever-present seductive purr in Bombalurina's voice had him a bit wary as to exactly what she meant.

Smirking, Bomba cuffed him teasingly upside the head. "Get your mind out of the gutter, Munk," she snickered. "This is my sister we're talking about." Growing serious again, she pushed his shoulder and said, "Go on. She needs you." She stood gracefully and started to walk off.

"_Bomba!_" Munkustrap hissed. "Wait! What do you mean, Demeter needs me?"

"You're her protector," Bomba said simply.

"Oh. Right. Of course." Munkustrap nodded slightly, trying not to feel disappointed.

Bombalurina looked him over anxiously. "Munkustrap," she said, "When you're talking to Dem…just…try not to mention his name." Munkustrap nodded; it was fairly obvious who she was referring to. "And try not to…well, just play it safe and keep your paw below the level of your eyes."

Munkustrap blinked. "Keep my…why?"

Grimacing, Bomba raised her right paw to eye level, as if taking a pledge of some sort. "Munk," she sighed, "If you were Demeter, and you were scared, and the kindest thing you ever got from a tom was a beating, what would this look like?"

After a few seconds, Munkustrap sucked a wounded breath between his teeth. It was so obvious; what was a strange but harmless gesture to him would be a threat to Demeter. He nodded solemnly. "All right. Paw below eyes."

Bombalurina's eyes softened, and she nodded, lowering her paw. "Thank you," she said. She rubbed gratefully against his shoulder before trotting off; headed, Munkustrap observed drily, not to Jenny's den but rather in the direction of Tugger's. He shook himself vigorously and lifted his foot.

"And Munk?"

The silver tabby looked back and found Bombalurina paused, watching him over her shoulder with a knowing smile. "When I said you were her protector? I wasn't talking about your rank." And with that, she weaved between a pile of tires and an overturned chair, leaving the tribe protector blinking rather stupidly at the place where she'd vanished.

Shaking himself again, he stood up and peered across the gathering area. Demeter was still there, claws digging into the rubber of the Great Tire. Moving carefully so as not to startle her, Munkustrap stepped into the open. He intentionally made his footsteps louder than usual, with the result that Demeter glanced up before he got too close and thus wasn't terrified out of her wits by his appearance.

"Demeter," he said quietly, dipping his head. She replied in kind, murmuring his name politely and shifting so that he could jump up beside her. After a slightly awkward silence, the tom spoke up. "Bomba asked me to talk to you," he admitted.

Demeter sighed. "I'd hoped she was asleep."

Munkustrap gave a small chuckle. "I think you're going to have to give up on sneaking out without Bomba realizing it." Demeter gave a wry smile and nodded in agreement, and Munkustrap turned quite serious. "But you really shouldn't be out here," he said. "It's cold."

"It's not _that_ cold," she protested.

"It is for a kitten," he said gently, placing a paw on her rounded womb; she was due to deliver in about a week.

"Bast," Demeter whispered. "Why did you have to remind me?" Her voice broke, and her eyes were suddenly swimming with tears.

"Demeter! What's wrong?" Munkustrap asked in horror. He very nearly put an arm around her shoulders, but remembered Bomba's words just in time and settled for covering her paw with his own.

"I'm scared, Munkustrap," she whispered. "I can't do this. Even if I survive the delivery—and Quickskittle didn't—I can't even take care of myself. How am I supposed to raise a newborn kit on my own?"

Munkustrap's heart melted. "First of all, you are not going to die, Demeter. Quickskittle was injured and frail when Victoria was born; you're healthier than I've ever seen you. And you don't have to do this on your own. You know Bomba would do anything for you, and the whole tribe will be willing to help, that's what families are for…" He paused, then said carefully, "And if you really aren't ready to be a mother, then Jenny wants you to know that she'll gladly raise the kit as her own, as part of the nursery. You didn't ask for this, Demeter, and nobody here would think the less of you."

The strength and ferocity of her responding glare surprised Munkustrap. "No," she said firmly. "She's mine, Munk. _I_ want her. She's my kitten, and I am _not_ losing her because of Macavity."

Munkustrap nodded hurriedly, barely avoiding throwing his paws up in surrender. "Okay!" he yelped. "It's your decision! Nobody's going to force you to give up…wait, how do you know it's a queen?"

Demeter glared. "Mother's intuition. I just know. And I have no intention of giving her up. I'll find a way."

Backtracking hurriedly, Munkustrap said, "I'm sure you will. For example, if you want help, there are any number of toms who would do anything for a chance to be your mate…"

Demeter scoffed. "Naturally," she said, her voice dripping sarcasm. "A paranoid, pregnant insomniac is every tom's dream."

There was another long pause. Finally, Munkustrap swallowed hard and shifted closer to Demeter, curling his tail lightly around her. "Maybe not every tom," he admitted. Then, barely audibly, "…Maybe it's just me."

Her head snapped up, eyes widened in shock. Sounding completely out of breath, she whispered, "You…what…you would…you want…"

Concerned, Munkustrap drew back slightly. "I'm sorry," he said apologetically. "I didn't mean to put you on the spot like that. I just wanted you to know that mmph—" He was cut off effectively when Demeter put a firm paw over his mouth.

"Munkustrap." Her tone was one he recognized; it was what the patrol had dubbed his 'Alonzo-just-shut-up-and-tell-me-what-the-problem-is' voice. Continuing in the same manner, Demeter said, "I appreciate it. I really, truly do. But..." she sighed, looking as if she was fighting some internal battle. "I need to know why. Are you just offering to mate for convenience, or…" Munkustrap, her paw still clamped over his mouth, began shaking his head emphatically, and she removed said paw so he could speak.

"Of course not!" he said. "I'm asking you because I…I mean…Well, I…" He sighed, gathering his wits. "I love you," he said simply.

Demeter stared at him, wonder dawning in her eyes. Softly, she said, "Munk…you're the tribe protector. You could have any queen in the Junkyard if you set your mind to it." Ignoring his skeptical look, she asked, "Why would you want me?"

The look in her eyes demanded an honest answer, and Munkustrap gave her one. Without the slightest hesitation, he answered, "I guess I was waiting for a paranoid, pregnant insomniac."

The look in Demeter's eyes at those words was a memory Munkustrap would treasure forever. Blinking back tears once more, she looked up at him with trust, gratitude, relief…_love._ Moving slowly, gauging her reactions for any sign that she was uncomfortable, he moved closer. She purred softly when he nuzzled the silky fur just behind her ears, so he licked said ear playfully before rubbing his head on her shoulder. She responded willingly, rubbing her head along his neck with a queer, quiet laugh. In unison, they both drew back—just far enough to look each other in the eyes. Feeling the rightness of the action in every fiber of his being, Munkustrap leaned in. Their lips brushed…

…And then she was gone, twisting away in a sudden whirl of black and gold with a speed that was both surprising and worrying given her pregnancy. By the time Munkustrap figured out what had happened, Demeter was already cowered on top of the old sewage pipe. The look on her face was heartbreaking, one of love, fear, and sickened guilt, and his heart went out to the frozen queen.

"Demeter?" he called softly. "Dem, I'm sorry. It was too much, too fast, I didn't mean to—"

Desperately, she cried, "It's not you, Munkustrap, I'm so sorry. It's just…I can't help but remember…"

"I understand," he said kindly.

"You don't."

The sudden harshness of her voice made Munkustrap jump. "You can't possibly understand unless you've been there," Demeter continued passionately. "You _don't_ know what it was like…" her voice softened. "And it's not your fault. You just…don't understand."

"So tell me."

Demeter blinked, as if this option had never occurred to her. After a short pause, she said hopelessly, "I don't know how."

"Yes, you do," Munkustrap said warmly. "You're a Jellicle."

Demeter nodded almost imperceptibly, but seemed to take strength from the words. At any rate, her voice was steady as she began.

"It was…a nightmare. He was so kind, at first, you have to understand…and by the time he showed his true colors it was too late, I was trapped in that _hellhole_ of a warehouse. Bomba didn't have to…She didn't..." She swallowed. "He only wanted me, but she wouldn't leave me, and…well…she's Bombalurina. He was only too happy to let her come." There was a disgusted bitterness in her voice. "We never saw daylight except through the crack under the door, and then only for a few hours a day when the angle was right and the sun shone through a window in the main warehouse. Macavity would only…we only saw him for a few hours a day, thank Bast. But somehow the hours spent dreading his return were even more horrible. At least when we could see him, it was tangible, something we could try to fight. But when we couldn't…it was like he was there the whole time, watching us, taunting us…or maybe it was just me. Bomba never felt it, but she knew I did." Her voice shifted into the slower, more purposeful inflections of song, and Munkustrap shivered slightly at the dark picture she wove.

"_In sleep he sang to me," _Demeter murmured, her voice rich and somber. "_In dreams he came…that voice-"_ here she flinched-"_would call to me, and speak my name. And do I dream again? For now I find the echoes of his evil power are there, inside my mind."_ Her eyes were wide and pleading as she choked, "I'm going mad. I keep hearing him…his voice…I keep feeling like I'm going to wake up and be back in the dark!" The desperate sob in her voice as she blurted out the last sentence told Munkustrap that it was a fear she had never admitted to before; possibly never even told Bombalurina.

Seeing the normally stoic queen in this state twisted something painfully inside Munkustrap. He leaped lightly across the Tire and held out a forepaw to Demeter. She regarded it with a mixture of nervousness and longing, and in the soothing voice that characterized the Jellicle protector, Munkustrap began his own song. He hardly knew where the words came from, but they felt right.

"_No more talk of darkness,"_ he began, firmly but gently. _"Forget these wide-eyed fears. I'm here; nothing can harm you, my words will warm and calm you…"_

As he sang, Demeter had been slowly reaching out, and now she took his paw tentatively and let him draw her close, slipping off the pipe and onto the Great Tire. Encouraged, Munkustrap continued, "_Let me be your freedom. Let daylight dry your tears…"_ Demeter gave a small sigh, and Munkustrap smiled down at her, putting a gentle paw around her. "_I'm here,"_ he promised. _"With you, beside you, to guard you and to guide you…"_ As Demeter nestled comfortably against his chest, his voice became softer, more tender. _"Let me be your shelter; let me be your light. You're safe; no one will find you, your fears are far behind you..."_

Demeter stirred and sat up straighter, though she made no move to leave. Looking up at the stars, she sang longingly, "_All I want is freedom; a world with no more night…"_ Leaning back into Munkustrap with a sudden shy smile, she added, "…_And you, always beside me, to hold me and to hide me."_

Munkustrap smiled and nuzzled the back of her head. "Naturally," he said lightly, brushing a strand of fur out of her face. She purred contentedly and closed her eyes, and in a moment of bravery Munkustrap sang, "_Then say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime..."_ Her eyes opened in surprise, but she also gave a small smile, which Munkustrap took as permission to continue. "…_Let me_ _lead you from your solitude."_ Slightly nervous, feeling that the next line was thin ice, he said, _"Say you need me with you, here beside you; anywhere you go, let me go too…that's all I ask of you."_

Demeter's tiny smile had been growing as he sang, but now she let the bashful grin slip away. She turned to Munkustrap, and her bearing was very serious as she told him, "_Say you'll love me every waking moment. Turn my head with talk of summertime._" Tentatively, almost nervously, she said, "_Say you need me with you, now and always. Promise me that all you say is true. __Love me; that's all I ask of you._"

Munkustrap smiled tenderly and nuzzled the golden queen, gently licking the patch of soft, exquisite fur just beneath her jaw line. Her breath caught; Munkustrap froze, but his fears were assuaged when Demeter leaned reassuringly into him. Purring, she curled—somewhat awkwardly given the state of her pregnancy—closer, one soft paw resting on his chest. Her warm breath ruffled his sensitive whiskers, and she burrowed her face into his shoulder as a chilly breeze swept carelessly through the Junkyard.

And without thinking about it, easy as breathing, he kissed her.

For a split second, she kissed him back, and it was the most perfect feeling in the world; silver and gold fur mixing, blending, the way it was meant to be.

Then Demeter flinched. It was a small twitch, nothing obvious, but it was there, and that was enough. Munkustrap immediately drew away, searching her face.

If she had looked guilt-ridden and apologetic before, her appearance now was nothing short of self-condemnation. Tears welled in the corners of her eyes as she shrunk back, and, wordlessly, Munkustrap withdrew his arm and let her move away.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I…please, Munkustrap. I know you're nothing like Macavity. And…" she swallowed. "And I love you. I really do. I would trust you with my life. It's just…"

Munkustrap nodded sympathetically. "You trusted him too. You loved him."

"Once," she said quickly. "Once, long ago, and never again."

"I _understand,_ Demeter." Munkustrap's consoling tone quickly turned to one of alarm as she tried to give a brave smile that quickly faded. She didn't cry; Munkustrap might have been less worried if he had. She just looked…numb. Beaten. "Demeter? Are you…Where are you going?" Demeter had slipped away and off the Tire.

"Back to Jenny's," she said shakily. "You're right…it's…cold."

"Demeter."

She turned instinctively toward the sound of his voice, and though she tried to rearrange her expression into one that was carefully neutral, she couldn't hide the longing fast enough. Hers was the face of someone who yearned to be called back.

"Demeter," Munkustrap said sadly. "Wait. Listen to me. Take your time; you're still healing. But…if you ever decide you're ready to take a mate again-"

Demeter was shaking her head before he finished the sentence. "It's not like that," she murmured. "I…I feel ready. Most of the time. And you know Bomba's fine now." She grimaced at the thought of the maned object of her sister's affection. "She thinks I should find a mate. Jenny agrees; she says it would help me learn to trust toms again. And…they're right. I _want_ a mate." Giving a sudden smile, she said, "And I know who I would choose."

The light moment disappeared quickly, however. Again, there was a half-pained, half-wistful expression in her dark eyes as she looked at Munkustrap. "But it wouldn't be fair," she said unhappily. "Not to you, I mean. You deserve a queen who won't wake up screaming in the middle of the night. Or at least one who can kiss you without having a panic attack." She cut off his protest with an impatient wave. "Don't. You deserve better." Her ears drooped and she turned away, curling her tail tightly around herself.

Munkustrap jumped soundlessly off the Tire, watching her carefully. She didn't look around; she didn't move at all beyond shivering. She was rapidly descending into the same dull hopelessness that had consumed her when she first arrived, when Macavity's cruelty was still fresh in her mind.

She looked so…fragile. Vulnerable. Pity welled up almost painfully inside Munkustrap as he jumped soundlessly to the pavement. "Demeter?" he said softly. She didn't respond.

_Who deserves this?_ He thought forlornly. Certainly not Demeter; she had done nothing to earn the agony and terror currently waging war on her worn spirit. It was sadness and compassion that brought the words to his lips.

"_Pitiful creature of darkness, what kind of life have you known?"_ Slowly, frail hope beginning to blossom in her eyes, Demeter turned to face him. Holding out his paw in a loving invitation, he sang, "_I think it's time someone showed you…you are not alone..."_

For some time, she simply looked at him. She held him with her eyes, asking him a thousand questions, and he let himself be held, trying to give her the answers she needed.

It was a moment that lasted for an eternity. Slowly, the pain and horror began to fade from Demeter's eyes, and without hesitating, she reached out and took his paw. Timidly, she asked, "_Sing once again with me our sweet duet…"_

Munkustrap readily obliged. With a caring smile, he told her, "_Your power over me grows stronger yet."_ She gave a faint blush and smiled, but still ducked her head and turned her face away. The slight movement prompted the words, "_I see you turn from me to glance behind…"_ She looked up anxiously, and he stopped her half-formulated apology with a calming, "I know. _The phantom of Macavity is there, inside your mind."_

"Less now," she said softly.

"I'm glad."

She smiled fondly. "So am I. Actually…I almost think…Third time's the charm…?"

"Demeter?"

The golden queen was contemplating him with an unfathomable expression, but before he could ask her what was wrong she had placed a delicate paw on his cheek and kissed him. The kiss was quick, her lips lingering over his for only a moment, but it was tender and very, very sweet, and still left Munkustrap looking like he'd been clubbed over the head.

After studying his face briefly, Demeter laughed outright. "Goodnight, Munkustrap," she said with a smile that reminded the protector that different as they might have been, Demeter and Bombalurina were undeniably sisters.

Munkustrap, still quite floored, managed to form enough of a coherent thought to ask, "Where are you going?"

Demeter looked innocently puzzled. "Inside," she said, placing a hand on her abdomen. "It's cold out for a kitten."

"You'll go back to Jenny's, then?" Munkustrap asked in a slightly more rational tone, protective instincts kicking in.

Demeter made a face. "Well, I'm not about to go looking for Bomba. Bast knows I don't need to know what she's up to. Why? Where else could I go?"

"Oh, it's nothing," Munkustrap said convincingly. "I just need to make sure everyone in the tribe is safe, you know."

"…Of course," Demeter replied, just a second too late. Giving a somewhat strained smile, she turned to walk off.

"Demeter!"

She looked back hopefully, and he walked up until he could sit beside her again. "Demeter, I...I have a question."

"Oh?" She was definitely channeling Bombalurina now. This was not helpful.

Munkustrap's mouth was very dry. "Would…will you…" Something stopped the question in his throat. Smiling slightly, he corrected himself. "That is…Demeter; may I be your mate?"

She looked at him with an indecipherable expression, but somehow he understood that his wording had made all the difference.

"If I can be yours," she said in a whisper.

**[A/N] For anyone who's wondering why I didn't use "Music of the Night", it's because that song is a bit too Macavity-esque to be appropriate in this setting. Also, Demeter is pregnant with Electra (which "Dawn" readers should already know) and her line "Once, long ago, and never again" is courtesy of the marvelous, magical, curious knock-about clown with an extensive reputation; the Brummell of CATS (fanfiction), SirPrickles, to whom I dedicate this ****abomination...er, ****songfic. (How's THAT for an intro? *smug grin*)**


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